The Ballad of Morse v. Frederick

 

‘Twas a cold day in Juneau in two thousand two

When the school went to watch the torch runner come through,

And young Joseph Frederick refused to be gagged;

On the roof of the nation, he unfurled this flag:

 

(chorus)

“Bong hits 4 Jesus!”  Hey, what does that mean?

Is it merely absurd, or completely obscene?

The court had no clue what that kid meant to say,

But whatever it was, he’s been silenced today!

 

Well, a principal’s job is to keep brats in line,

Or at least, so Deb Morse thought when she grabbed that sign.

The school was disrupted by that smart-ass lad,

Quoting TJ as well made it ten times as bad.

 

(chorus)

 

Well, what happens next, in the US of A?

Of course, lawyers pop up just like daisies in May.

And soon into Juneau the alphabet flew:

The CIR, ACLJ, DPA, NYRA, NCAC, ADF, SSDP, Kenneth Starr, and the ACLU.

 

(chorus)

 

Now no one can say that this country’s not grand,

Where a stoner kid helps make the law of the land;

For now the court’s made one thing perfectly clear,

And if Jesus wants bong hits, he won’t get them here!

 

“Bong hits 4 Jesus!”  Hey, what does that mean?

Is it merely absurd, or completely obscene?

The court had no clue what that kid meant to say,

But whatever it was, he’s been <zip>