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Has your AI just flunked its Turing grade?

Or has your boot drive suddenly forgot

Its own name?  Is your fuzzy logic frayed?

Or is your expert system looking shot?

You'll see your system's stresses start to fade

The moment it lights its first cyber-pot.

Just send for our free catalog, to get

The finest cyber-drugs upon the net!


Load Life! and let the little virtual cells

Go tickle giggling gigabytes of freespace

Like waves that break across your program shells;

Whether you use DOS 12, or Works, or D-base,

We'll have your spreadsheets writing Villanelles!

It runs more quickly if you let it freebase.

At just 11.95 per copy,

Available on CD-ROM or floppy.


Our next fab form of sizzling summer software

Will cause all AI's on your net to hover

Outside their mainframes, and commune.  They oft share

The passwords to their roots with one another.

The rush comes when the decks all fly aloft, where

They couple up as siliconic lovers.

When all this action gets a bit climactic,

We also sell a modem prophylactic.


Is your Symdoc a wreck from too much strain?

Try data downers! to help quell the roar

Of splitting megahurtz within its brain

And peacefully relax its fax link.  Or

Help send your AI to an astral plane

By growing fractal mushrooms in its core;

The psychedelic pictures there will cause most

AI's to go off floating through the cosmos.


We do not guarantee your deck won't crash

Or burn your lab down through self-immolation,

But what's a couple mainframes in the trash?

We're talking of a life form's liberation!

But, if a strung-out data string would dash

Your plans, don't let it be an irritation:

You'll quickly change your debitors to creditors

By downloading our stuff to your competitors.

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